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$ cd /middle_east [Change Directory , i.e. go there] $ ls [Show files/directories] Afghanistan Iraq Libya Saudi_Arabia UAE Algeria Israel Morrocco Sudan Yemen Bahrain Jordan Oman Syria [Countries in the Middle East] Egypt Kuwait Palestine Tunisia Iran Lebanon Qatar Turkey $ cd Afghanistan [Go into Afghanistan] $ ls [Look around Afghanistan] bin Taliban [We see bin (bin usually contains binary or executable programs) and the Taliban] $ rm Taliban [Remove the file Taliban ] rm: Taliban is a directory [Whoops not that easy] $ cd Taliban [Go into Taliban Structure] $ ls [Look around] soldiers [OK, we find soldiers] $ rm soldiers [Smoke 'em out!] $ cd .. [Job done, let's get out of there] $ rmdir Taliban [Let's try to remove the Taliban again, this time we're smarter] rmdir: directory "Taliban": Directory not empty [Damn! I thought we got everybody] $ cd Taliban [Goin' back in!] $ ls -a [Let's look in hidden places i.e. caves!] . .. .insurgents [Crap who are these guys?] $ chown -R USA .* [ Let's make them ours. Off to Gitmo!] chown: .insurgents: Not owner [They're not talking. We can't make them. Damn Amnesty International!] $ cd .. [OK, let's back up a bit - up one directory to be precise] $ su [Super User! He can do anything, even if it's not right. Kind of like a President.] Password: ******* [Super Secret Code word] # mv Taliban /tmp [Super User aka "root" moves the "Taliban" problem to the back burner] # exit [Can't stay invoke all my super powers at once, people will talk. Will somebody please shut up that fathead Michael Moore!] $ ls [Let's look around Afghanistan again] bin [Geek joke coming from thinkgeek.com shirt - apparently out of print] $ cd bin [wait for it] $ ls [wait for it] laden [Ha ha...Get it bin/laden. Bin Laden. Usama?] $ cd .. [We know where he is, let's regroup and do this right] $ rm -r bin/laden [Remove everything] bin/laden: No such file or directory [Doh! Where'd he go?] $ find / -name laden [Let's search everywhere!] $ [Crap. A blank line can't be good. We can't find him] $ su [Here we go again. Super User! We'll find him. But we won't think about him that much] Password: ******* # mv bin /tmp [Back burner the whole Bin Laden thing] # exit $ pwd [Where are we again?] /middle_east/Afghanistan [Oh yeah] $ cd /opt/UN [Off to the United Nations! We're all Americans still right?] $ ln -s /Bad_Guys/Al_Qaeda /middle_east/Iraq/. [Let's try to create a link to Al_Qaeda in Iraq] ln: cannot create /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda: Permission denied [Stupid French, Germans, and Russians!] $ su [We'll make a link. Remember root can do these things] Password:******* # ln -s /Bad_Guys/Al_Qaeda /middle_east/Iraq/. [See I told you root could do anything.] # cd /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda [Let me show you the link] Al_Qaeda: does not exist [Ah, but just because you make a link, doesn't mean it's real. Broken Link. Dang!] # rm /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda [Crap. New tactic] # mkfile 100g /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda [Try to make a very huge case. Those "converted" vehicles, those WMD's?] mkfile: No space left on device [Whoops, out of disk space. Stupid French, Germans, and Russians again] # rm /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda [Let's just pretend I didn't try to make that case] # cd /opt/Coalition/Willing [Psst. Hey guys. Who's gonna get all that oil. Wanna trade?] # mkfile 1b /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda [ Make a 1 byte file. That's really small i.e. a shred of evidence. Some meeting in a hotel?] # chown -R USA:Proof /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda [ Make it our own. Our cause. Our evidence.] #exit $ cd /middle_east/Iraq [We're going in! Lock and Load!] $ ls saddam [We're Looking...] $ ls saddam [and looking...] $ ls saddam [and looking, but only find Saddam. Didn't we used to like him? Iran/Iraq war anyone?] $ ls -a [Let's look *real* hard] . .. saddam [Crap. Where's that evidence we created...er...found?] $ find / -name [Ww][Mm][Dd] [Where are those Weapons of Mass Destruction - Any shape or size will do] /Korea/North/wMd [Crap. Someone get the Chinese to handle those guys OK? We're busy making the world safer.] $ wall Propaganda.txt [Send out a message. Election time is coming soon] Broadcast Message from USA (pts/1) on USS_Abraham_Lincoln Th May 1st Mission Accomplished! [Yee-ha!...But sorry brave soldiers, you don't get to go home] $ rm saddam [Let's get him out of there. The world will be a better place.] saddam: No such file or directory [Crap. Not again! Did you check the palace?] $ find / -name saddam [He can run but he can't hide] /var/opt/dictators/spiderhole/saddam [We found him in a spiderhole. Never heard of a spiderhole before though] $ wall NewsWorthy.txt [Another Message. Let's get excited. Election is getting close!] Broadcast Message from USA (pts/1) on Time.Magazine Sat Dec 13 We Got Him! [Yippeee. I feel safer!] $ mv /var/opt/dictators/spiderhole/saddam /opt/jail [Saddam is jailed. Is it me or does he look like Buddy Hacket?] $ cd /opt/USA [Go home for some meetings to consult some smart people. The Plan? "Install Democracy"] $ cp -Rp Democracy /middle_east/Iraq [Copy our democracy to Iraq. Well sort of.] $ cd /middle_east/Iraq/Democracy [Alright, it's there. Let's get this party started! Let Freedom Reign Condi!] $ ./install [How you run a program in *nix. No double clicking allowed.] Install Error: Install failed. See install_log for details. $ more install_log [Look at the install log] Installed failed! Prerequisite packages missing [Other things must exist before Democracy can take hold] Conflicting package Wahhabism found in /midde_east/Saudi_Arabia [Opinion - The birth of radical Islam] Packages Church and State must be installed separately [Opinion from stable democracies] File System /PeakOil nearing capacity [Opinion. Scary crap. Google Peak Oil] Please read the install guide to properly plan your installation. [Read the f*cking manual and learn from history.] $

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