22-04-2008, 05:54
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חבר מתאריך: 10.12.04
הודעות: 2,040
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אימייל משעשע שקיבלתי, נראה מתאים לפורום הזה.
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one, a reassurance for those who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,'
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P)
and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*************
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
**************
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
**************
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
**************
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
**************
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
**************
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
***************
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
***************
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
***************
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
***************
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
***************
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
**************
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
***************
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
***************
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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