10-03-2012, 20:48
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חבר מתאריך: 03.03.10
הודעות: 17,061
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טוף, בסוף הסתבר שעד שהמחשב שלי יגיע, אין לי עותק של הגרסה האנגלית... אז יאללה, למה לא, תרגמתי את זה על המקום... מתנצל מראש על שגיאות דפוס שבטוח יופיעו...
Ladies and gentlemen, honored ones, members of the high council. There is no doubt that the issue at hand is somewhat troubling. Adopting a word from an inferior, primitive language into our own - such a thing is unheard of. I'm completely certain that many of you are shocked to their core by the idea. Nevertheless, I am here today to speak in favor of this proposal, despite it being so extreme. By your leave, honored ones, I shall review the events leading to this proposal in order to defend and justify this position.
We discovered the planet "Earth" by happenstance. A single reconnaissance ship miscalculated her hyperjump and ended up in that faraway solar system at the edge of the universe. However, it was a lucky for us - the ship discovered that inferior race of primates - the humans. Well, they were so primitive that they have not yet discovered spaceflight. Nevertheless, the Wise Ones checked, calculated, analyzed and decided that this strange race is a danger. There were too much destructiveness and violence in the humans for us to ignore them and give them the chance to discover that they're not alone in the universe. We wanted to eradicate them but the Summit of United Systems objected, reminding us that the Genevus Prime Convention disallows the xenocide of live beings, even semi-sentient ones like the humans. Fortunately, the Wise Ones found a way to neutralize the terrible threat of the humans without completely wiping them out. They invented a "Thought Vaporizer" machine designed to gradually weaken the human brain function. Since it was feared that a fast process would be discovered and the humans would rise against the Thought Vaporizer, its function was slowed down. The entire process would take, according to early calculations, a few Earth centuries. The device was inserted into the blue planet and promptly began enslaving the humans. In the beginning, there were no visible results at all. As you may recall, there was even one breaking point where the device's entire functionality was questioned. Only after nearly one hundred years, the function of the Thought Vaporizer became visible - People who would've been considered average in the past were being considered geniuses. Incredibly, we discovered a distinct division of "literary authors' - as you can see in the attached appendix, literature is a kind of primitive human form of communication requiring ink and paper. Those who were suddenly considered smart became authors of "science-fiction" - be the meaning of that what it be - and wrote foolish apocalyptic stories involving sentient races alien to Earth that arrived and destroyed the lives of the Human. The other kind of authors were standard people (the standard was already pretty low) who wrote "housewife" literature or "pulp" fiction, which was good only to bring idle humans to quickly reach estrous and fill the pockets of the writers with money (money is a kind of ancient barbaric form of trade based on the belief that a certain paper has equal value as substantial items) . Fifty Earth years later, a complete halt of all human scientific progress has become obvious. A century later, all humans were slaves of the Thought Vaporizer. Four hundred years after it has been put into service, the humans lost all signs of intelligence and reverted back to behavior based on animal instincts alone. Amongst other things, humans lost all use of a spoken language (the humans never developed true telepathy or empathy and even believed they were unrealistic. Barbarians.) They left their primitive civilization behind, took off their clothes and became animals again. To ensure no undue harm to their race, we've founded a public body charged with their safety and declared planet "Earth" as a natural preserve.
in conclusion I'm proud to announce that the council of Wise Ones once again proved its might and skill. It is beyond doubt our Thought Vaporizer is a complete success that would allows us to avoid radical actions against semi sentient races in the future. Still, despite the nigh infinite richness of our language, we could not find a name worthy of this wondrous device that can bring pan-galactic wars to a complete halt in the future . On the other hand, the humans did find a word. With this in mind and as a final salute to a defeated foe, I must insist on my recommendation to the high council to officially adopt the use of the name the humans used for our T.V. as word in our own language: "television".
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 מר רוג - כי החיים קצרים מדי לשמות מלאים
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